A Story To Be Told
by is this where i belong
Summary: I started this story about 3 years ago. It's about a girl who gets all geared up in curiosity of sexual pleasures and ends up becoming someone she never thought she would be. From boyfriend troubles and dealing with random boys to trying to keep her marks up in school and getting into university, she tries to figure out why she can't stop and how to get back on track with school.
1. A Story To be Told

Slowly, everything started coming into place. The facts; the information I did not believe at first; the clues and then hints. I'm quite glad I took the day off. I needed time with myself to think everything through. Right now I'm here, sitting in the corner of my room thinking. It's the one place where I can relax and just figure myself out.

Lately, my life's been hell. From everything to parents, family and my ex. There's just been problem after problem and sometimes I have no idea how to deal with it.

Earlier today I wanted to make plans with friends to go to the gym. Sadly, everyone flopped so I went by myself. Gathering everything and putting it in my bag from 'Pink,' I hopped into my dad's MATRIX, we got a couple of days ago, and headed off to the YMCA.

My dad's a realtor so he dropped me off and went to his "Open House" a block away. He told me to be done at four and then I was free. I killed myself at the Gym today; I'm still trying to figure out why. Every song on my iPOD would remind me of "him," which got me mad because I frankly didn't want to think of "him" right now. After about working out for an hour, I was dead. I decided to call my dad, but he was still busy, so I headed off to the mall and ended up at Tim Hortons.

One thing you have to know about me, I love Timmies. From morning coffee and bagels to donuts and timbits, I bet I spend half my money at that place. Well, I recently heard about the new Ice Cap Mocha's, so I wanted to try them out. Walking through Sears and seeing the line that went pretty much across the mall, I got in to be the twenty-second person in line. I honestly have no idea why they removed the other Timmies in the mall. We really do need three. Well, I got my Mocha and started heading toward Stitches. I felt free for once, I was so happy but I knew I was really hurting inside.

You cheated on me. To someone I don't even know. To someone you went to camp with for a week. I didn't think you'd be so low. At least you told me though, I guess that counts. I guess that's why I still spent the other month of summer with you. Every day we'd still talk to each other, how much more did I want to hurt myself? We still kept web-camming and playing our late night MSN GAMES. We used to always have bets when we were dating and we still did. This night was intense. I was beating him in every game, I know he was cheesed. I print screened them too if he denied them later. It was about one o clock in the morning and we decided to end the conversation off by a game of chess. We played two games. Surprisingly, I won both games. He got cheezed, it was actually pretty funny. He asked for a rematch. A rematch tomorrow at his house on his glass chess set. His house. I've only been to his house two times before and every time I was there we would be making out or his hands were going down my pants as he slowly tried to strip me. It would be awkward if I went there, both of us being single. But I accepted because curious me wanted to see what would happen.


	2. First Love

August 19. It was a Thursday which meant my mom had work. As my dad dropped her off, my dad then dropped me at the Y just like regular days. There he was, waiting for me at the top of the stairs. His name was Aj. It was such a baller name. He loved basketball, it was his passion. Well anyway, a thousand emotions came in my head just then when I saw him. I realized the last time we saw each other we were dating. It was a little awkward between us at first but I guess as it went on we became ourselves again. We walked to the bus terminal where we would take the bus down to his house. It takes about fifteen minutes to get to his place, fifteen minutes of dead awkwardness. As we reached his house, I was thinking what would happen. He sat me down in his room and went to get his glass checkered chess set. Summary of the game; he beat me in two moves. I don't think it was my day or I was just too caught up on seeing him. After the game, you can see the tension in the room. None of us knew what to do. We started talking randomly and then it just happened.

He was leaning on my shoulder and it reminded me of old times. I remember he loved being "petted" on the head, so I did so. Randomly, he slaps me and I comeback with "You think you're so slick eh, slapping a girl. Slap me again." He does as he was told. We had this back and forth game going on with him slapping me every time I said slap me and then I said kiss me. Just like that. I don't know why I said it, but I know it wasn't a slip of my tongue. I didn't know what his reaction would be, but I just had a feeling he would kiss me. And he did.. The second he kissed me, I knew I was only hurting myself more. As we pulled away, I asked if we were going to get back together and all I got was, "I'll think about it." Knowing that that would soon become a "no," I headed for the door saying I had to go home. He let me go and asked me for a goodbye kiss. I always gave him goodbye kisses on the exact same spot of his house every day I went there. I said no at first and the stupid puppy dog look made me do it.

Hurt. Broken. I knew it was worth nothing. As I headed home that day, I didn't know what to do other than hope for better days and nothing more.


	3. Alone

I hate the feeling that sometimes you think you have no one. No one at all. I think that's how I felt as I walked home. I got through this summer with him by my side telling me he loved me every day. At home, I hated saying the word "home." I didn't think I was living in a home, thought I was living in a "war" house. My parents always fought, fought so much they were going to get divorced at one point. I tried controlling it at first, but they'd scream at me saying they started fighting all because of me. I sometimes felt like a piece of shit. I hoped I would die, but sometimes life makes you live painful moments, who knows why.

To my surprise, obviously he answered no. I had it coming; I knew it the day of. And at this moment, I felt like I had legit no one. No one cared; my parents always wanted me out of the house. My cousin that I talked to so much just went to her trip to England. I was alone. Alone with half of summer left. I carried on my days volunteering at the nearby community center. I volunteered with swimming in July and in August I started working with camps. I was lucky this week because I started volunteering with dance camp, which I knew would get my mind off of a lot. Thankfully, my best friend was in that session's dance camp which helped me a lot. I always find it easier to get through breakdowns with friends. I guess I started feeling loved again. Working with the workers at dance camp, I felt like a family. The mornings were soon becoming the best part of my summer.

As days went on, I started moving on. I talked to him occasionally, but not every day. I talked to my friends, got support from hanging out with other people. I went to the movies a lot recently; sometimes it was the best thing to do to get rid of all my voices in my head. One day, I was talking to my Aj, who you can now officially say was my ex and we came upon the movie "Takers" that was going to come out that Friday. We both knew we wanted to watch it badly. We used to talk about it a lot when we were going out. I planned to watch it with my friends and funny enough, he planned to watch it with his friends at the same theater at the same time. We were chill about it until ironically, both our friends flopped on us which made us decide to go together. It was September 3, the last Friday of summer. We met up at the theatres and walked into our movie. It was the craziest movie I saw yet this summer. It was one of those movies that were best to watch without talking to the person beside you because the whole movie you need to know what's happening. I was into the movie when randomly he says, "Baby, I'm cold." In my head, I ask myself what I'm supposed to do. I ended up saying, "Do you want a hug?" Of course, he said yes and I gave him a hug then leaned on his shoulder. Awkward to every intention but luckily that was all. That was that, no kiss, no nothing. We said goodbye to each other by a hug at the bus terminal and headed off home. I was glad we would be able to both move on with still being friends.


	4. The Introduction

That brings me on to today. I'm here in my room writing about my summer. It could've been worse, but I'm glad I have these memories. I can learn from them and I can cherish them. I haven't told you already, but my name is Jenny Smile. I'm currently fourteen and in a couple of days I will be stepping onto my new high school adventure. I graduated from my previous school with the Community Service Award and got into one of the best schools in my district. I might sound like the biggest nerd alive, but when you see me I look nothing like one. The first impression I tend to give people in my community is a complete blonde because everything I do or say is totally stupid. It takes a while for things to process in my head and I'm one of the slowest when it comes to up to date world issues, if you know what I mean. It's pretty cool though because I am smart, I have excellent leadership skills and I love extra-curricula's which is probably how I got into the school in the first place. I'm pretty well known by my own community and by random people because they're my friend's friends or whatever you want to call them. I have a slight reputation in other schools even though sadly it may not be what I wanted it to be because of, but whatever label me all you want, I really don't care anymore. I like going by the motto "live life" which means I never regret anything in my life. My parents can be a complete piss off at times, but I know at the end of the day everything they do is so my sister and I can get higher and better and basically live a proper life when we're older.

In the summer, when my ex and I broke up I didn't think I would get anyone that accepted me for who I was. There was this whole history in my life; I was labeled as a brainer, a slut, a whore, a hoe. Every word you can think of for someone who gives them self away just like that. At times last year, I felt like the stupidest person possible, I let people saying things to me put me down, but I survived the year with my friends. I always remember what happened though. They're experiences I can never forget. Getting through all the labeling was tough as well, but I was glad I had my friends.

Growing up, I was a pretty "soft" girl. I didn't know any of the course language terms, I didn't know any sexual terms. I used to think "stupid" was the meanest word someone could say. I didn't know what sex was, but I knew I hated saying the word. It was probably a phase in maturity, but for me, everything happened differently. I feel like I grew up too fast. Sometimes I think it isn't a good thing, because I've been through so much as I am so young, but in the other hand I'm more mature now and I probably won't mess up when I'm older, when most people will.


	5. The Start Of Something New

It all started a day in October. I was running for president and my neighbor was as well. We decided we would help each other with our campaigns; pitch in money and buy the materials and do all our posters and handouts together. He came over to my house. It was little things we did that got me started. I guess you can say it got me more active. I learned what "tapping" and "scooping" was. In theory, both of these aren't harmless, at least not to me. The only problem was when you start being intimate even a little, even with your "guy friend," it can and most likely will go out of hand. Throughout October, as we walked home together, I would go to his house for a bit and we would "feel each other up." One day he wanted a "hand job," which I frankly didn't know any idea what it was. He told me how to do it and I gave him one, I honestly didn't think anything was wrong with it.

This is when things started getting worse. It was history class and I got into a play fight with one of my boys. His comeback was that he would tell the class about me and my neighbor which obviously threw me off because I figured that my neighbor told someone when he wasn't supposed to. Well, I played it off but soon after the boy comes up to me asking me all sorts of questions on how it felt. His name was Jordon and he was one the better than average looking boys at our school. Sadly, by the incident with Tom, my neighbor, Jordon and I were getting closer. By the end of 2009, Jordon and I were pretty close buddies.

No one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes. It's something everyone has to except from each other. I'm the way I am right now because of what has happened to me in the past. I can see situations in other people's point of view and put myself in their shoes and see how they feel. When you do make mistake however and don't do anything to fix it, I believe entirely karma will come back at you, right at you. That's exactly what happened to me. January 16. New Year and a new boy. His name was Aj and he was adorable and one of the sweetest boys I ever met. That's why I still ask myself the question why. Why would I ever do that to him? This kid lost my trust in two days and to this very day I still don't think I told him what happened.


	6. A Little Blow

January 18. Math Class.

"Jen, Math's boring." Is what came out of Jordon's mouth.

"I know, one hour of this. Someone save me." Was my response.

"Jen, come outside. We need to talk," says Jordon.

I replied with, "What's wrong hun?"

I went outside and he came out a little after. Little did I know we ended up on the stage of our school. We did what I did with Tim but a little more. I gave him a blow, a little one. I was new to it, I didn't know how to do it. It was kind of cool, in my mind. I think I liked Jordon as well in my mind. I wonder why my mind forgot to realize that I was in a relationship though. Whatever, I played it off. I didn't tell a single soul. We got back to class and Jordon said,

"This doesn't mean anything ok?" My beautiful response was, "I know, I have a boyfriend remember." I said it as if it weren't a big deal. As if there was nothing wrong giving a blowjob to someone else who wasn't my boyfriend. Especially two days after he asks me out. What was I thinking? This is what I mean when I say karma hit me back. I cheated on him, and that summer he cheated on me. Yes, it was the same Aj I talked about earlier in the book.

Of course Aj and I didn't last long. I dumped him three days before our one month. I obviously liked Jordon over him. I didn't know I broke Aj's heart until later in the year, but you'll find out how I found out eventually.

Days went by, Jordon and I were going well but we did want to do it again and you could clearly see that in ourselves. I told some of my friends as they totally spazzed at me. It was March 10, another boring day in Math Class as we were working on some experiment for probability. I asked to go to the washroom first; he left a few minutes later. Again on the stage, but this time I was single. Experience number two, obviously it was better. The feeling of his dick was actually pretty nice. It was interesting, something in school I was finally interested in. He sucked my tits; his tongue against them was like licking an ice cream cone on a sunny day. It was sloppy and all over but cute and wonderful at the same time. However, I knew Jordon. I knew he only talked to me because of my body and I knew I didn't like it. We walked back to class and as I sat down when both Shay and Nat walk up to me and said,

"Are you out of your freaking mind girl!"

"Tell me right now what you did," said Nat.

"I'm going to beat you black and blue at this moment honestly," said Shay.

"How was it that obvious?" I asked.

"Do you think we're stupid? I was wondering where you were and I asked Nat if she knew. We look over and see Jordon was missing," said Shay.

"It doesn't take that long to put the puzzle pieces together," continued Nat.

"Oh, my bad," I say with no idea how to answer these kids I call my best friends.

"I was just bored and it was so nice. I needed a break, school is so boring," was the only good response I could think of.

The day ended well and life was going good but not for long.


	7. attention

At my school, there were definitely labels. It wasn't as bad as the ones in some high schools, but people were definitely put into groups. There were the soccer freaks, the emo kids, the kids hardly anyone talked to, random cliques that no one knew what to name and then of course the popular kids.

When I moved to this school in grade six, I started off by being a no one. I had Nat, but no one liked Nat back then. I didn't really care though and I made my own friends. In Grade six, I hung out with the nerdy, smart kids who looked like they were always reading books, but they were actually quite fun. In Grade seven, when I got put into the WORST seventh grade class I actually made the best of it and made friends with all the kids in there. I still had Nat, but in grade seven we got into this huge fight because of Gabi, so I didn't talk to her. I started becoming popular hanging out with Gabi and Ally. Soon, in grade seven I became friends with the kids that lived close to me as well and I sort of somehow rose up the ladder of social status and knew all the popular kids as they started becoming my friends as well. In grade eight, I was considered popular with them, but I still didn't hang out with them at recess. I wasn't really close with everyone, I knew everyone and they were my friends but I hanged out with Ally and we only hanged out with them sometimes. I also always still felt like the "new" one and I didn't want attention. I despised that.

So, when I gave brains to Jordon, I never did it for attention, I did it for pleasure. I didn't want anyone to know because the last thing I wanted was everyone's attention on me. But of course, I walked right into trouble because the next day, everyone found out.

Well, maybe not everyone but all of his guy friends. Jordon and his friends were considered "popular" in the school. Even if Jordon meant to tell one person, that person would've told another who most probably told another. It was definitely how our school worked. I don't know who he told but whoever he told knew how to spread shit in less than a day.

All the boys started coming up to me asking for "brains," giving me the gesture in the mouth where you poke your tongue in your cheek to make it seem like there is a dick in there. It was pretty immature and I felt like a hoe. All the girls, the popular ones, came up to me and were all like Jenny did you actually do that? Some didn't ask me just went along with the boys and others tried to be sneaky and asked my best friends to see if they knew if it was true or not. Let's just say I was the center of attention for almost two months and I hated it.

But did it stop me with my pleasure? Not one bit. Even though I knew Jordon told his friends, I still wanted to give him more and his fingering was getting really pleasurable. He asked me again in the Family Change Room of the Community Center where we all hang out after school. Of course, it felt amazing, until someone who worked there figured we were in there. Awkward. I ran out of the change room stall and hid in the bathrooms. I guess Jordon left, I have no idea what Jordon did but when I went back up to go see where he was, he was sitting on a table with a bunch of older kids and as soon as they saw me they started snickering. So how do you think I felt? Well for one, I felt like a complete whore. I knew that he told them and I didn't know what to do except just walk away. Inside, I felt so bad about myself, I really needed someone to talk to and that's when I bumped into Lia. I told Lia everything, I really needed someone to vent to. She was actually amazing. She helped me and walked home with me. We lived a street down from each other but it was really nice to actually vent to someone and get all my feelings out of me. As we were walking home, we bumped into Julian. I didn't know Julian, never had classes with him but out of all the guys in my school, he was the most considerate. He asked if I was alright, which I felt was totally random because we never spoke to each other before. I did find it very cute and wished every boy in our school was a gentleman like he seemed to be.

When I went home, I thought all I would do was sitting down in my room and replaying over and over what happened today, but my parents ruined it. That was the exact day my parents decided to get a phone for me. Weird eh? I just gave a guy a blowjob and almost got booked and my parents want to buy me a phone. Hey I wasn't complaining. It also took my mind off of everything. However, having a phone just made matters worse.


	8. First Kiss

The feeling of his lips on mine, just kissing me slowly, steadily and gradually getting more into it. Make-out sessions for as long as you can remember, having difficulty to even breathe because you're so involved with his lips. That was my first kiss. You never expect something the day of, I never even expected my first kiss would be with this boy. We weren't dating, we weren't dealing. Who knows how we ended up where we were kissing and feeling each other up. It was a Saturday morning and I was walking along the streets to get morning coffee. To my surprise, an old friend (crush) of mine was walking along as well. I love the feeling when you see an old crush; it gives you this tingly feeling inside you. He was surprised to see me too and as I told him I was getting coffee, he told me he'd give me a special "treat" because we hadn't seen each other in so long and make me coffee. I didn't find anything wrong with a simple treat, so I walked with him to his house and I was guessing he was home alone. Bad idea. As I got inside he immediately just lunged on top of me. He was feeling me up, first my boobs then a break down to my vagina. He started fingering me really hard. It felt so much better than what Jordon did. And then he did it. He kissed me. More like, he sabotaged my face with his mouth. I always wanted my first kiss to be a soft, slow kiss with lots of meaning into it, but I guess I just wasn't that deserving. Instead I got a smoochy kiss that really did raise my hormones. He slowed it down a bit after but what an experience that was. We were all over each other and he was jizzing like crazy all over the place, I actually found it ridiculously funny. In the end he didn't even end up making me coffee, but the point to this little story being never trust a guy when he says he'd do something for you. There's always a cost with it!


End file.
